Paris Hilton is now claiming that she’s too lazy for sex and would rather just kiss.

“I don’t really care about sex. If I’m in a relationship, we don’t even do anything, really. We just watch TV. I’m too lazy. I’d rather kiss.”

Um, yeah. I guess she and Rick weren’t in a relationship when they made the sex tape, because I don’t remember alot of kissing on it.

I suppose pole dancing lessons would be a good companion gift to go with that portable stripper pole you’re giving your girl this Christmas.

ESPN has their annual Sex & Sports special up for 2004. Alot of the items they run thru (the article is 3 pages long), have already appeared here on the site, but its nice to have it all in one place.

Daze has a post up about whether Abraham Lincoln was homosexual. [Hey Daze, update our link, we aren't GetSwank anymore]

I Fuck Like A Girl t-shirt

Get a Free Digital Camera

High school cheerleaders caught making sex tape, just 1 week after other squad members got busted for drinking. [via The Bitch Girls]

Gillette is introducing a vibrating razor for women called the ‘Venus Vibrance’. And with the large oversized and bumby handle, they are definately playing up the ‘this thing could double as a vibrator’ angle.

I actually have the mens version of this thing, a vibrating Mach 3 I think its called. It does vibrate like crazy, but moreso in the handle than on the actual blades.

Playboy is distributing Playmate pix that are sized for your iPod under the clever name iBod.

Right on the heels of Natalie Portman’s full frontal scene’s being cut from the movie closer comes the story that Keira Knightly has a nude body double in her upcoming movie Domino because she’s not comfortable w/ her body. Its not like she’s new to nudity on screen.

Is there anything more disappointing to us pervs right before the holidays than having these two nude scenes yanked right out from under us!?

I suppose the glasses in the picture below are a great way to incorporate a piercing fetish into a more mainstream look. I suspect most people wouldn’t be able to tell your glasses weren’t connected and didn’t have ear stems unless they looked at them hard.

One-upping golfer Natalie Gulbis’ swimsuit calendar is Sophie Sandolo, an Italian professional golfer, who has a nude 2005 calendar. A face shot and the cover of her calendar are shown below.

Some free galleries of Kellemarie, a hot new blonde model
Kellemarie 1 | Kellemarie 2.

And a couple of movie galleries of her as well:
Kellemarie Movie 1 | Kellemarie Movie 2.

Strip club dancers in San Antonio are going to have to wear ID badges while they dance to ‘increase safety’. Talk Left makes what would be a great point about this ‘safety’:

Of course, displaying the real names of strippers will actually jeopardize their safety by exposing them to stalkers…

But they failed to actually read the article because it clearly says that the ID card will only contain the dancer’s stage name.

Sure to be coming-to-a-city-near-you-soon, the a company in Japan has started renting sex dolls (they call them Dutch wives) like the Real Doll. The doll looks like this, and they actually deliver the thing to you. I wonder who’s job it is to clean these things up after the customer is done. At least I assume, they actually clean them.

The best assignment a local reporter could ever ask for – checking in on what goes on in the local strip clubs. For a newspaper, we get some pretty racy descriptions of what goes on.

The Army has now said sodomy is OK. Previously, it was considered a crime for members of the armed forces to engage in oral or anal sex, even if it was consentual and regardless of whether it was a straight or gay hook-up.

This part of the transcript from the trial struck me as funny. I think its the word ‘actually’ that the judge uses that makes it seem that she just can’t quite believe what she’s hearing. A penis … in a woman’s mouth … why, what will they think of next.

According to the transcript, quoted by the court, the judge asked Bullock, “Tell me exactly what part of your body went into what opening in her body?”

“My penis into her mouth, ma’am,” Bullock responded.

“And you actually penetrated her mouth with your penis,” asked the judge.

Bullock responded affirmatively.

Snoop Dogg and Paris Hilton are promoting a pot-flavored candy.

Presently found in 43 stores across the Big Apple, Chronic Candy, hemp-rooted lollipops and gumdrops promises that “Every lick is like taking a hit.” It’s quickly becoming top choice for local costumers with the munchies, while drawing criticism from politicians who feel the candy promotes drug use to the youth.

The official site has a description of all the different flavors, including Icky Sticky Skunk Buds.

In the on-going battle between men and women to get the upperhand in the dating scene, women have developed a new weapon – the fake engagement ring.

I wear a flawless, 4-carat, emerald-cut sparkler all the time – a $10 dime-store trinket that’s the smartest fashion accessory I ever bought.

For my friends and me, bogus jewels have put an end to the constant harassment that dogs so many young women in New York.

We get hit on everywhere – on the train, the bus and even in taxis. Guys hold doors for us for the mere purpose of getting a view of our backsides.

Ever wonder why mistletoe (which means turd on a twig) made the dark ages folks (blame it on the druids) so damn horny that we now hang the stuff up in doorways so that we can kiss strangers during the holidays? Yeah, me neither. Who cares why we do it, I’d be fine with hanging old gum wrappers from the ceiling if it made kissing strangers socially acceptable.

Anyhow, ‘scientists’ have discovered that dwarf mistletoe ejaculates, or as close to it as a plant can get.

The stubby variety might be a clumpy green parasite of conifers, but it turns out to have the world’s only water-pump seed ejection system. One that can fire a seed up to a dazzling 20 meters (65 feet).

Perhaps the most unsuprising porn survey result ever: Many people have porn on their work computers.

I put together some preview screenshots of the Nadia Styles scene from Who’s Your Daddy 5 from Zero Tolerance. If you are looking for a solid, straight-up sex movie that doesn’t mess around with plot, the Who’s your Daddy series is an excellent choice.

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The Elegant Angel website has finally been re-designed and it now features Quicktime trailers for a bunch of their movies.