I like that we have magazines like Stuff to answer life’s really important questions: Can Women Survive On Semen Alone?

Can women survive on semen alone?
Planning on “accidentally” getting stranded on an island with your famished girlfriend? If so, she’ll need to crank out 120 hummers a day, and swallow every time. Ejaculations contain up to a gram of protein, so if yours pack just more than half that amount, she’ll get her daily protein requirement of 68 grams (along with a scorching case of TMJ). But with an average of six calories per shot, she would consume only 720 calories, which, according to Dr. Richard Kowal, a licensed nutritionist in New York City, is 80 calories less than what is already considered a super-low-calorie diet. “Within weeks of initiating this diet, aside from a three- to four-pound weight loss per week, the dieter would begin to report symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, constipation or diarrhea and, finally, gallstones,” says Kowal. “Once this busy dieter shrinks in weight to a very low body-mass index, [the body] will begin to cannibalize its own proteins, such as muscles and organs. Once the body begins to break down the heart muscle, it is just a matter of time before she has a heart attack and probably dies.” Sheesh, some girls will do anything to get out of giving a blow job.